with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
