On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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