all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
