whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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