I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
