She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
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i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
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I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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