just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
