$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
