Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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