He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
