How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
