actually, I'm a sock model
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
