The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I won the penis lottery.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
