Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
