How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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