Don't make out with my wife yet
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
