I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
