so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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