her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
