You work out of a Hotel?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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