just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
