please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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