all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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