a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
