So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
