We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
