Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Drake has all the answers
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
