like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
