doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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