I cockslap morals
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize