im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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