You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
