My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize