I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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