8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
