she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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