I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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