you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
