i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
