Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
