drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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