I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
