did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Screwed.edu
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
