Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
