Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
