in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
