it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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