idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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