No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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