Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize