Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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