he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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