So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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