just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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