I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
