those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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