the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
