Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sext me about skeletons
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
