As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
