i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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