It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
