You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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